An Unexpected Guest
by appabend
Summary: [One-Shot] There was an unexpected guest right on Stephanie's apartment... no, not the demon's child. Inspired by 'Whack a Thief' Flash Game. [Alternative Universe; Rated T]


An Unexpected Guest

[One-Shot] There was an unexpected guest right on Stephanie's apartment... no, not the demon's child. Inspired by 'Whack a Thief' Flash Game. [Alternative Universe]

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_A/N: This story takes place in an alternative universe, the same universe as my other fanfiction Knight's Play. Like my other one-shot, I'll provide a brief backstory to get you up to speed to understand what the plumbing hell is going on. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Batman or Whack a Thief. All this story is purely for entertainment purposes only. Rated T for Violence, Swearing, and some Sexual References._

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After a long series of patrols as the Spoiler, Stephanie went back home to her lofty apartment. It was just a lovely apartment to stay in. Lots of amazing memories happened here. That one time where her mother slipped off and crushed her face in her own birthday cake, that one moment where her toe stumbled upon the hard wood leggings of the table while she was trying to catch her burning kettle, that one moment where her sink went haywire and spread lots of nasty dirt fluids everywhere around the room.

Good times.

This was always Stephanie's base of operations. Although the Bat Cave was pretty discreet and Bruce is such a lovely person to take care of it (especially the flying bats), it was quite far from home, and she's not going to spend about ten minutes just to go into his cave. Stephanie always used her grappling hook to the rooftop and entered in through the fire escape without making a single noise. That's why maintaining her number one escape route is always a priority for real-life Stephanie. Thank god for her mechanical skills.

This time however, Stephanie didn't patrol as the Spoiler. She had to work extra shift on her full-time job at the Diner. A mechanical engineering student somehow stumbled into fast food and cooking. What in the world has she came into?

It's about 12 PM. While Tim, Dick, and Bruce were busy on their patrol and Barbara had to watch over their six every single time, Stephanie had to take a break for this once. Her last mission was actually quite interesting. A child, named Ibn al... something rather, was a target of a Middle-Eastern terrorist organization. This Ibn child was quite the skilled troublemaker, having been able to run away from dangerous ninja assassins that, thanks to Bruce and Kate's trainings all this time, Stephanie could deal with.

The moment the child is brought into the cave, Bruce revealed everything. The child had an alternative name. His name is Damian al Ghul, that is if it was based on his mother's name. But his real name is actually Damian Wayne to his father's name Bruce. Although Bruce Wayne had his shares of knock ups in the past, she never thought that a daughter of someone big in that Middle-Eastern terrorist organization somehow ended up with him. Not to mention the fact that the mother is also a badass ninja assassin. Wow. What did Bruce do to get her heart?

The kid had been quite the troublemaker to the Bat Family too. He had shown to have been able to escape various locks and prisons that Bruce had settled. He had annoyed the living crap out of Tim Drake, which was quite amusing seeing him being annoyed for once especially when they actually duke it out to each other until both of them are bruised to death. He had a respect and a very obvious crush to the mute girl Cassandra Cain, although Cassandra always pushed him out despite his attempts on getting into her. He also had respects to Dick and his father Bruce, although sometimes he always preferred a more violent method thanks to being raised by the League. Barbara was thankfully kind and friendly to him, despite being constantly berated and insulted.

How about Stephanie? Well their relationship was quite tricky. Stephanie never took Damian seriously, especially when Damian kept insisting that he could murder her in cold blood. But despite all of that, she always saw him as the ten-year-old child that he is. She treated him just like that, a ten year old. She gave him something fun to do, something more refreshing than killing peoples. Damian had killed peoples before, but that doesn't mean that it's the only method of getting him off steam.

Beyond those ridiculously dark and violent behavior of the kid, there is a trace of humanity inside of him, something that made him to be more than just a dark and brooding character. Just from the look of his face, Stephanie can conclude a lot of things: He enjoyed the times he had in the bounce house, despite him stating otherwise. He enjoyed the times he had in the carnival, again despite him stating otherwise. He was jealous of a very happy family at the carnival having fun with a children on his age, despite him stating otherwise. He also really enjoyed being around animals. That one he admitted without shame.

The other thing that he also enjoyed and having no shame to admit is playing video games online. Berating peoples and insult them at the most insane fashion is just freaking beautiful to listen to. Just like most ten year olds at his age, the insults can be the most annoying insults that online gamers had to endure, but unlike those uneducated bigots, Damian is different. His insults range from an incredibly intimidating and incredibly clever James Bond villain to Hannibal Lecter level of psychotically intelligent.

The most amusing part is that he couldn't be banned. He always hacked another people's account to play around. Those poor online gamers. She was surprised that no one SWAT him already.

Thankfully despite being a badass assassin and having ties to the terrorist organization, his mother is very kind. There was a struggle within her to choose between her lover or her own father, the leader of this big ass yadda yadda terrorist organization. Unfortunately since her father wanted her and her son dead and the fact that she had a son with her lover, she had to choose her lover and abandon her father for good. Talia had been supporting Bruce in a cause to fight the League, something that she is working very hard at, and she's been very supportive at it.

For now, she needed some rest. She went to the front door of her apartment. Just right on the front door, loud noises of guns blazing and soldiers shouting orders can be heard. She sighed in relief and smiled. Damian broke in just to play some video games on her console. Oh Damian. Is there a time where he could genuinely piss her off?

Actually there is. There was a time where she criticized her breast size. Of all the things that he criticized, he found one that really pissed her off, but she paused a moment to realize that it was just jealousy. Seriously, according to Damian's standards, her C cup was nothing compared to Cassandra's barely visible B... come to think of it probably Damian had it right on this one. Damian right about something? What a shocking revelation.

As she opened the door, she found the boy just sitting there facing the TV emotionless with the controller on his lap. "You just couldn't help it, could you?"

"Don't care what you think." Damian said. "I only care about playing, and I've played games way before you even got to me."

"So you do know how to have fun."

"It's not fun abusing peoples in online games." Damian said. "You don't get a chance to punch their face in. So why bother?"

"At least you got a point." Stephanie said.

"That doesn't mean that I'm not going to react when I got shot." Moments later, Damian's player character got shot by another player. That's where he lost it. "Damn it! I'll find you and I'll cut your and your mom's guts out!"

Well, he's still a ten year old after all.

Despite his momentary rage, he spawned for another online match and continued his joyful online gaming. "Thanks Stephanie. I almost got him."

Stephanie smiled. "It's past your bedtime after all."

"I don't need a bed time." Damian said. "I don't need you to take care of me. I can do things myself."

"Sure you can." Stephanie said, turning the lights on. "Now get your ass off of the couch and..."

Stephanie paused to glance at something rather messy. There was a cupboard with a display full of books, antique silver wares, and a bunch of important things way before Stephanie entered the room. Right now, that cupboard could barely hold up. The wooden glasses were broken and it scattered all the way in the floor. She swore that she could even see blood splatter.

Just now, she realized that there was an iron baseball bat filled with blood just lying there on the coffee table. "Okay, what the hell is going on here?"

"Nothing." Damian said. "I just caught up a few thieves."

"Thieves? Out of all the places they wanted to steal around." Stephanie said, clenching her first and pulling her sleeves. "Where are they now?"

"They're still here." Damian said. "I tied them up and locked them in your closet."

"What, you didn't call the police?"

"If I do, they're going to tell me that it's past my bed time."

Stephanie giggled. "Right. How many are they?"

"Two." Damian said. "One with a butterfly knife and the other one had nothing. I dealt with both of them."

Stephanie went into her room's closet. Even before she entered, she could hear the murmur of those men struggling to get off of Damian's ties. Damian was trained by the League of Assassins. They had the best tie knot that not even US Army Trained soldiers could escape from. By the time she opened the closet, she'll be damned. Two men, tied up, taped on their mouths, heavily bruised especially in their facial area, were tied up together by Damian with a rather powerful rope that he probably took in the closet.

"I'll be damned." Stephanie said. She crouched down to their levels and began talking to them. "Out of all the places you want to snoop in and you choose mine? I'm so honored by both of you Mr..." Stephanie took a wallet on their pockets and revealed their IDs. "Alex Kroon and Peter David. Baby names for such baby thieves."

Stephanie went towards a nearby window leading to the back alley of her apartment. She then threw the wallets out and dropped it into a nearby garbage can. "Oops, I dropped your wallets. Now you need to find it all over again."

The thieves loudened their murmur while Stephanie was smiling at them with delight. She went back towards them. "Now, what did you want to steal from my house, hm? Did you want to steal my video game console? My TV? Someone would buy them I guess. My silverwares? Well thanks to you being so reckless and all, now they're all broken and I got to pay for them all over again. The cupboard too. Thanks for that."

Stephanie took a butterfly knife from her pockets. Both men tried to shout beyond those taped mouths, but nothing ever came out. "I'm going to offer you a deal. I'm going to let you all go and we'll forget about this problem fine and dandy. By the time you went out of this room, you tell your friends, your family, your mom that I'm sure are not going to be very proud of both of you, that no one should ever come into my house. If you do, then my psycho little brother there is going to teach you some lessons. At least he got to be your teacher this time. You don't want me to be yours at this moment."

Stephanie had her butterfly knife right near their necks. "I'm a very bad... bad teacher. Don't worry. If you do came in here, I won't kill you. I just want to make your life more miserable. So get out and leave this house for good, okay?"

Both thieves nodded. Both had a very terrified looking face, which was good because this time her intention was to intimidate and scare the living crap out of them. They pretty much had to change their pants at this point.

"Good." Stephanie threw her butterfly knife to the floor and kicked it to one of the thief's hands. "Cut yourself out. Every step you made near me with that thing is one broken bone."

It didn't take long before all of them went out of their ropes. The two stood up from their painful seat and immediately walked away out of the room. The two finally met the kid, still playing with his video game, expressionless, emotionless, bored out of his mind. They glared at the kid for a few moment before Damian gave them death stares, to which point they belched and ran away as fast as they could.

Stephanie went back to the living room to meet up with the demon's child.

"You're just going to let them go?" Damian asked.

"Yup. They're not worth it anyway." Stephanie sighed. She went in closer and sat right near him. "Still, someone had to pay for the damages. Don't worry. I don't blame you. You just saved my house. Thanks."

Damian paused the game and glanced at her all the sudden, surprised with eyes wide as the Sahara Desert. He then looked down, frowning. "My father never thanked me."

"That's why I'm here." Stephanie said. "Your father is an over-protective overly paranoid jerk who just wouldn't let you loose for a while."

"You can say that again." Damian crossed his hands, leaning over to his chair.

"So if you still have daddy issues to deal with, then you can stay over here. You're not alone in the Bat Clan, you know?" Stephanie said. "You can sleep in the bed or the sofa. Choose one and I'll sleep to the other."

"Bed."

"Fine." Stephanie said. "But before that, let's do some cleaning."

Damian sighed as Stephanie took two brooms out of her closet and tossed one right into him.

##

It took quite a while before the entire room is clean and fresh away from any sorts of broken glasses or furniture. Damian cleaned up the piles hiding underneath the couch while Stephanie really had to clean up some of the silverwares that she owned for like years now.

"God, this silverware kept so many memories and you just broke it." Stephanie said. "Fantastic."

"If it weren't for those thieves, I wouldn't have broken it."

"I never blame you, Damian. I'm just saying." Stephanie said. "So how did you kick those thief's asses?"

"It's quite simple actually." Damian said. "One thief was about to choke me in the back. I had a baseball bat on the living room just in case. They have very poor sneaking skills, so I knew that they were there early on. Once they were close to me, I lifted up my baseball bat with my leg and like swing it to one of them."

"Ouch." Stephanie said. "What next?"

"The guy had decent reflexes, though." Damian said. "He dodged my first swing, but I jumped off the couch and just swing it down to his head. It hit him and he got pinned to the cupboard. I made a stab motion to the guy's stomach and uppercut him with the bat. It knocked the guy out, but that broke the entire cupboard. Sorry about that."

"Cool." Stephanie said. "What next?"

"The other guy had a butterfly knife." Damian said. "I challenged him for a fight. So he charged right in first with a very poor first swing. I just toy around with him for about a few seconds before finally swinging it hard to his head."

Stephanie clapped her hands. "Bravo, Boy Wonder. You took down two thieves on your own. Great job."

"Thanks." Damian never had compliments before in his life, but just one coming from Stephanie is all he needed. "I'm sorry about the cupboard."

"It's fine." Stephanie said. "Now go get some sleep. Tomorrow we'll practice in the cave and we'll go out on patrol together to find some bad guys, okay?"

Damian frowned, making a 'not bad' face. "I'll think about it."

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_A/N: This is partly inspired by 'Whack a Thief' flash game in which someone who looks very close and acts almost very closely to Damian Wayne is beating up and killing a thief in the most ludicrous and goriest of fashion. I'm not going to make the 'Whack a Teacher' version because even though 'Damian Wayne' is in it, I'm not comfortable with the idea of killing teachers for no reason. Thieves are totally fine by me. I had my shares of experiences with robbers before so don't complain. :P_


End file.
